Take a good, long look in the eyes of a patriot. You can see he's indignant—and well he should be. You see, the executive branch of his fair country has so exceeded its enumerated authorities, it is unrecognizable as its former, glorious self. Fuzzy is like Congress as it should be.Enter the executive branch, an annoying, little brown mockingbird named BushandCheney. Weeks ago, Fuzzy had the foresight to devour its young—evil devil-spawn destined for a life of screeching, dive bombing and excreting. Fuzzy dragged them inside and dismembered them. He clawed and chewed them until nothing was left but a slight length of intestine. Fuzzy's daddy cleaned it up, because he understood it was done for the common good.
BushandCheney was absolutely incensed, and made a full-time occupation of circling about, clucking its disdain and crapping all over the place. It would land on the porch railing, mere inches away from Fuzzy and his brother lying quietly sunning, minding their own business, harping about executive privilege and the need to move along. BushandCheney would dive bomb the two kitty cats, pecking and wounding them. And as the weeks went by, this disorderly conduct by the little brown drama queen became more of an outrage by the hour. But, the two cats pretended to ignore BushandCheney, confident in the knowledge that one day this would pass. Wise Fuzzy was unrepentent about the origin of the nasty vermin's fury.
This morning, it all came to an end, as we knew it would. BushandCheney got a little too close to Fuzzy and, failing to take into account the strength and sharpness of his claws, was snatched from the air with the cat's single swipe and hideous trumpeting from the little shit brown drama queen vermin bird. There he stood, ever so nonchalant, the always ill-fated victim between his teeth. He dropped it to the ground—it flapped and tried to escape, and he was on it again. As it heaved its last, Fuzzy's brother picked it up, took it under the house and it was not seen or heard from again.
Updated 6/12/14: Fuzzy was abducted and killed by my serial killing neighbors, the maniacal Bennett Animal Dump Family. The town's ordinances and "leaders" support this practice. I'd had him since he was about five weeks old. He had attained the age of nine years.
